Patricia

December 1976, few days before Christmas I saw Patricia for the first time at the 440th Signal Battalion Dining Facility, Cambrai Frish Kaserne, Darmstadt, Germany.  I was supervising the feeding of soldiers while she, with beautiful hair and an awesome smile, dressed in civilian clothes, came through the serving line with someone to later be known as her husband.  I looked at her and my eyes ran with her looks brighter than the stars, but nothing was said at that time in words, just radiation on the air between us.

Then I had a part time job as a bartender at the Rainbow NCO Club, right outside the post, and that night I was working at the club.  Patricia came in around 11:00 PM, coincidence I believe, and sat on my side of the bar, on the last chair to my left next to a wall.  I greeted her like I did with every customer though something different was ringing inside of me.  One of the tables near the bar and the one closer to her was occupied by some soldiers with bad reputations and I knew them.  One of them came to her and right away I got in between asking him to leave her along because she was with me.  I didn't thought about and acted with my guts.  Patricia was surprised and then she said to me:  "What are you going to do with me now?"  After work I was invited to a Christmas party and I invited her to come with me.  To that effect she accepted and that was the beginning of the greatest love of my life.

For the next two months we share ourselves, together everyday.  She was a little over 18 years old and I was 28.  I could never get tired of her, I could never get enough of her, she was a dream and I was living it.  On February 28th, 1977, I left Darmstadt to go to a two months school at Fort Lee, Virginia.  When I came back to my unit in Darmstadt, Germany, the first thing on my mind was to see Patricia but Patricia was not the same.  She told me that she was pregnant but was not sure if I was the father or not.  She asked me to buy her a plane ticket so she could go to Florida and have the baby there.  I gave her the ticker and I believe she went to Cocoa Beach, Florida.  No a lot of communication after that and in the time being I was transferred to a different unit located in Heidelberg, also in Germany.  Some time around September or October of 1977,  Patricia called my old unit and let me a message saying that I had a baby boy with her.  Was not until Christmas that year that I received the message and for the last 36 years I have being searching, one way or the other, for Patricia and that baby, to include searches by my daughter Mirta and by my son Marcos.  Mirta should be about three months older than the boy with Patricia.  So far nothing found.

On May 16th of this year I moved to reside in Ormond Beach, Florida.  Since the time I moved here, frequently I exercise on the Granada Boulevard bridge over the Halifax River and since that time I had seeing this lady walking. Usually my sister Mercedes comes with me and I said to her that among all the ladies we see on the bridge that specific one (Patricia) is my number one.  Something inside of my heart was telling me that I knew her from somewhere but I could not remember exactly who and where.  On the morning of September 7, this year of 2013, after running into her a couple of times, I stopped her and asked to know her name.  She said with the most beautiful smile on her face:  "Patricia"  I froze.  I didn't know what to think.  I said to her that I was Marcos without yet digesting the idea that she was the Patricia I loved so much and that I been carrying inside my heart for so long with bleeding force.  I know that she didn't get it right away but I know that the shock came to her a little later.  Now, for over a month I haven't see her.

She is afraid to face me.  I could not find her but if she wanted to find me it was easy to do because by me been in the Military.  She is afraid now and I feel bad for her.  She can see me at this moment and I can't see her.  She made a decision over 36 years ago and I should respect that decision.  Now she is hidden because we live near each other and her fear is restricting her from her own liberties without a need for it.  She doesn't know that I mean no harm for her.  Yes, there are things that I need to know though I am not the type of person that is going to come now and disrupt the structure of her present family and their harmony.

I am posting this with the hope that in some mysterious way Patricia may run into this in the same way that few weeks ago we ran into each other.  That way she can regain her freedom.